16 -18 years old

I haven't decided what this title should be about this indeed is not news from God like productions or from any news sites out there that currently exist. This is a document of the life I lived which won't exactly say much since what I'm about too say merits a post I posted here like 2014 or somewhere in there you can see for yourself in regards too it. What is said here makes one question if you are living a lie or are you living the truth?



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Okay so I woke up with a thought and memories crashing down on me memory after memory and reflected what was said too me by my own mother which is troubling she wondered if I would take a bullet for her as she would me. Why? Why on earth would she even wonder about that? Why wouldn't I take a bullet for her?Which is where while I was sleeping or trying too sleep a little bit longer memories flooded in. I would clarify once more that I would take a bullet for my mother. Now the memories had nothing too do with her but everything too do with my father.  She speaks of ending the insanity of my family well let's start with the down and dirty part of my life of which I lived and its extremely upsetting. I already fast forward too way after I was taken away from my mother and it had nothing too do with her it was an accident from a defective table which I'm not going too get into I'm still uncomfortable talking about my past as it is BUT if my mom wants too end the insanity or someone wants too volunteer and help end the insanity please feel free you don't have too go and arrest my father if you don't want too that's up too you too decide if my father should be arrested for all the B.S he put me through or have money in hand too pay me for all the crap he put me through. So okay perhaps I'll start with  when I was 10 or so years old I believe I was at my first Church it was a pentacostal church that had people who spoke Spanish the people there where indeed nice people but the sole focus is not them. Okay so yeah I went there every Sunday but you see there was times I didn't want too go but ended up going anyway at that time I was in middle school during that time I was already going through crap church was a side thing church probably should have been the last thing too do because as someone would ask 'Shouldn't you focus more on your studies?' YES

yet I still went to church. Church didn't really solve any of my problems all it was maybe just a distraction from the hell in I was already going through at school and at home. So the usual routine every Sunday is too greet people and that's what you do right? What about  praying? Yeah unless you just want too just sit down and have someone pray for you. So what I did was pray and present crap too god and present the problems at school and home. The problem at home was that when it came too homework or something my father didn't have any consideration as too lowering the volume so that only he and my eldest brother can hear it and NOT me because it was a big distraction having noise that would throw off my focus from any schoolwork or homework I had too do you couldn't  just ask my father too do that because then he would be a real jerk about it not just that but talking crap behind my back when we were all at the same place and I was trying too get homework done. So at church I would ask god too change his behavior and too help me have patience too deal with some classmates and help me be able too focus getting work done because the classmates I was with didn't have any consideration for others that were trying too focus (Namely me and a few others) being disrespectful then there was times when I had a substitute teacher and that's when things got really noisy I not only put up this that but put up with some bullies I had and of course I could take them on but I wasn't in school for that I was in school naturally too learn, pass and move on too high school. I presented too my father that I had distractions but he wasn't much help. All he simply said was ''Ignore them" it would take more than just ignoring them. How would you ignore a great number of classmates who are being very loud? And there was times because of them not just them but my father almost everyday when it came too reports my grades weren't the best since all he did was call me names and talk down on me. I've shown plenty of mercy countless times my father could never say that I hit him I even shown mercy towards bullies who I could take on. Back too school. During gym doing a game where every ball is in the middle and a coach blows a whistle I was very good at the game that I lasted towards the end my team still lost but earlier that day the bully and I were on separate teams so I already had several advantages over him so I already gotten many team members on his side out and I didn't have a ball this part is a fun moment so anyway perhaps a team member on his side screwed up that the ball ended up rolling to me and I am trying too remember how I got the ball but anyway I already gotten the ball and I already catch the bully trying too get a ball himself that I timed it perfectly that I through the air filled ball too him and caught him it was the best moment of my life I gave him his reward for being a jerk too me when I was changing into my gym clothes earlier that day.  And yeah I threw the ball hard at him that he got too have a taste of how strong I was and up too now I don't feel bad about it. Anyway so later that day I already changed back too my normal clothes and in the locker room there was too exits one is a direct route too the main building too the academics classes and the other route was a longer route that if you had reading class in these small classrooms --They called it the port-tabuls or something like that but it was big enough too fit plenty of desks and computers anyway it led there and you could even follow it too go around the outside of the locker room too go too the main building so I decide too take a direct route too the main building so I exit the locker room and what do I find? A big crowd 7 feet away from me there back turns towards me so they wouldn't know that I was there. There was perhaps a fight going on so I go back too the inside of the locker room and decide too take the other exit. Many things could have taken place if I decided too take the main route like if there wasn't a fight it could have been an ambush that I would have too drop my things and fight them all even if it was a waste of my time since all I wanted too do is get too my academic class anyway. Anyway besides that and my father making life really hard for me my father decided we were going too go on vacation which was cool and all but behind the scenes. How did he manage too make it happen? Well first of all, He claimed my mother owed him money so of course it goes too an attorney then it seems the judge approves it so that is how it happened. So the money that was going too him he could have used it too get me better clothes and shoes things I needed. But no not him he was like 'let me save this money so we could go on vacation' and it was in the middle of a semester and I still had class so he selfishly decided that we should go fly too Puerto Rico. Back too church, Of course I've prayed  for him too change for the better because he was making life real hard on me that it in turn affected my academics tremendously not in a good way so at church you present it too god he probably already knew it before you already decided too pray about it anyway so did pray about it and some other things too. It didn't make it go away maybe it was a brief okay let me live in heaven or pretend that everything is peachy and okay with a sugar on top when the truth is I was dying inside, needed help in dealing with treachery and B.S. then after church people are talking or gossiping if not that talking business or whatever going back too what they usually do and sometimes occasionally people bring food. So okay back too Puerto Rico. Doing the semester my dad and I were on Jet blue heading too Puerto Rico and it takes about two days too get there if you are in a plane but in the morning I wondered 'How far behind am I?' I did distract myself from that thought looking out too the clouds it was real beautiful I also distracted myself with a movie they had playing . We landed safely the good part is when  we got too see family and go places I even went too the beach but that day part of it sucked because apparently while I was chilling and swimming and collecting shells I didn't see a crab and if you ever had your foot pinched god you will know how much it hurt so that's what happened too me of course I did what I needed too do too do too force it too release my toes because I didn't see it I kicked using the foot I got pinched on something and forced it too release my toes I'm lucky I didn't loose any toes thank goodness but it hurt it didn't break anything so I was fine a few minutes later I didn't scream in pain or anything I probably screamed in the water I wasn't deep in the water anyway so after it released my toes I waited for the pain too stop throbbing and was fine that I could collect shells without limping.  I did have personal reasons for collecting sea shells of course I wouldn't collect giant shells with giant living crabs in it. It couldn't fit in a small bucket I had at the time anyway besides that it was fun. I think it was my first trip too Puerto Rico when my father took me too my Aunts house we did stay for a few days until it was time too travel back too Florida but maybe it was day one or something or maybe it was on my second trip too Puerto Rico that made part of it bad because I don't know what happened that my dad  hit me I didn't do anything wrong so I ran into my Aunts arms. I don't remember if she spoke too him maybe I didn't hear them speaking too one another. The second trip during that time was 2014 and it was terrible because my Grand father my father's father died. I don't know how old my Grand father was  at that time he was probably eighty- something years old (Maybe) its a estimate  I didn't ask at that time and I don't know if my grand father already knew what kind of person my father was anyway and even now I still don't know.  Since then  after a few days we of course had a funeral then a couple days later my father and I traveled back too Florida. Okay so I already said that my Father claimed that my mother owed him money now this is another part here. So okay my aunt sends me money I didn't know about it because my father never told me and guess what he does with it he spends it or deposits it in the bank basically he stole from me. Honestly I would have started my own bank account long ago its just ridiculous its like pulling teeth or I could have used that too buy myself  a new shirt or a new pair of pants or a watch or something. I no doubt would have chosen too prioritize starting my own bank account over those three. And at that time I was in High School. Too make things worse besides him stealing from me he's called the police on me and I didn't do anything wrong literally. Why? Because I was having a social life trying too have a life actually playing basketball and that's it then return home after a few games of basketball. You see the insanity that he created calling the police? Really??? Sometimes the games last until like 6pm but I play a few games and then I head home sometimes I find that when I've arrived, he's already there on break. I can see it being a issue if you return home at 10pm when you have school the next day but  630? He would make life real hard. And at that time he already married a new wife which later he tried taking advantage of her and said some lies that almost got the court too grant him more money besides the Child- Support money he was already getting if it weren't for his wife seeing what he was doing that would have succeeded  which is good. She also got too see what I was going through which she did take pictures I don't have them but I was abused talk about having a crappy life she was prepared too show the Judge but perhaps he didn't have the nerve too want too see the crap I was going through and the pictures that she took if she still has it perhaps he would have the nerve too actually look at it and learn of my story and actually care. Anyway my dad not only called the police on me but he has threatened me saying and I still remember this as if he was speaking too me right now that 'He's going too break my legs' would like too see him try I'm not that merciful now as I was back then I've prayed for him too change for the better there wasn't even a church that could get him too do just that. So I was forced too go too church. You know at home its supposed too be a peaceful place where you could relax and not feel like a hostage? Well I felt that I was a hostage and the home was not even peaceful despite a great many attempts too make it so I basically was in misery the only thing that helped make it not so much like that was at the time my Step-mom her brother got too see the who my father really was and helped keep him away from me and he himself was a Evangelist which I believe its like a pastor am unsure on that but I guess at that time I could call him my step-brother but he kept my dad away from me since he was going too who hit me or get in my face and threaten me? But yeah it was horrible what my dad did and then one time  during the winter season I don't remember how it happened but my father not only him but my eldest brother got me outside in real cold weather I made them work hard too make me go outside if I didn't position myself in such a way too be unable too move from a spot leading too the exit too the backyard I would have stayed warm in the house. Like I said he put me through some treachery I don't remember what he told me once he barely succeeded in getting me on the back porch and yeah I was cold has hell. The second  time I was prepared and he barely got me on the back patio I went too the back patio with my own will so he can't really say it was him that time and  I was warm so I hardly felt anything besides me being warm with warm clothes and my anger he eventually let me back inside. Okay so now I fast forward a little but more and this one  is the last time he called the police and it was for the same reason about and I still didn't do anything wrong and at that time he really got me angry that I spoke too the police and said 'I'm afraid me and him are going too clash I'm very angry at him' And the police was kind enough too get me away from my father but the price I had too pay was suffer in this cold facility that I don't know what its called even now but I decided too suffer for his sake in the freezing facility staying away from him was good on me because I didn't want too see him since I felt we were going too clash but the bad thing was I didn't remember my moms number so both sucked and I stayed for like 3-4 days during that time I did make a few friends brief friends I couldn't call them real friends since I didn't know them they were strangers too me but some of them were nice people.  Then the day came when my father arrived after I was transferred too this other facility that I'm unsure the name of this place was perhaps a behavioral facility which he was very lucky that I didn't remember my mom's number or else I would have left the place and move too my moms' house the same day since I was tired of the B.S so some days later my mom came and it was unexpected which is good  and decided too move too my moms place but yeah living with my father was hell in itself. And I've told my mom everything and I can say now is that she and my step-dad brought me too light and living better than I ever have in my life and working towards getting a job and also hoping that my nephew and niece never go through and of the crap I went through ---------it was awful. Before that I must mention another thing that happened too me when I lived with my father I was threatened by my classmate. How did that happen? That's a good question! Because don't know how it happened myself but what I do know is that I was playing basketball with a few people and I was hot and sweaty that I needed too cool off so I went too a bench where there were a few people there and the park was called Walker Bulldog so I sit down then I notice there were many who had pocketknives. Why did they have pocket knives with them? Apparently too threaten me even though I don't know who they are and probably never seen them before in my life so I went too cool down and watch people play some basketball then I get poked by a knife and suddenly I'm surrounded by people I originally was chilling cooling off so okay I see that amongst these people surrounding me my classmate is there with his own pocket knife out too. A cowards way of fighting. Anyway I didn't do anything that triggered that too happen and yeah I could take them on but Why would they threaten me in the first place with pocket knives too begin with? I didn't know who they were and what they did was cowardly not just that it was uncalled for honestly. And my classmate had the balls too call me a b*tch and yeah I was upset, Confused and yeah 'Why would he do that?' I couldn't think of any reason why he would do it and yeah 'I work too hard I don't need this crap' especially at that time I had problems living with my father. Anyway why I said that my 'mom and step-dad brought me too the light' because that day haunted me wondering why he did that? That and my dads depressing words that hurt me more than anything that yeah I hurt myself  but it was thanks too my mom and step-dad I am alive and hoping that my nephew and niece will never go through that ever. So that is today's story time. And also since then I've made wonderful friends and have family my Mom and step-dad and well my brothers and I have already proven too my second eldest brother that he doesn't have a clue of what I've went through and that's just a few slices from the whole thing of what I went through.