A crazy moment with a Spider

There was someone that woke up to a spider staring at
them one day and he freaked out so the spider explained himself and said this:

You wouldn't believe that spider would you shoot I bet when I go to sleep and wake up
the next day and when I go to the bathroom I will notice a spider bump on my cheek and the best explanation will be:'The spider just wanted to kiss me goodnight before it goes about its business'
That's why I don't trust a spider in my house I would never know its intentions of being in my house until tomorrow---if I wake up tomorrow